Chair Butt

This week in the Dilbert comic, Alice discovers she has a bad case of chair butt. United Media, the company that syndicates Dilbert, rejected the first version I submitted. It looked like this:

My editors thought the pose looked too provocative. They requested I redraw Alice in less of a “mount me” position. I argued that in the context of a medical exam, no one would interpret her pose as sexual. This argument did not carry the day. So I went back to the drawing board with the instructions to make it look “more medical.”

At this point in the story I should pause to confess I did not attend medical school. I don’t know exactly how a trained physician would examine a patient for signs of chair butt. So I took an educated guess and resubmitted the comic. Here’s a peek.

Although my editors have no formal medical training, they were nonetheless certain my depiction of a chair butt exam was inaccurate. I went back to the drawing board a third time and drew the version that was accepted and ran in newspapers. Here it is.

What I learned from this experience is that being a doctor takes more than common sense and a willingness to look at unattractive naked people. I don’t know how much more it takes, but I intend to keep drawing comics until I find out.

Comments

[prefabrik yapi]

Nice blog.Thanks

[inderyJer]

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[HillCountryGal]

Mr. Adams, I did a feature on this HILARIOUS story at my place, which was then picked up by Mike's Blog Roundup on Crooks & Liars.
It's the "Chair Butt" fiasco.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/05/05/mikes-blog-roundup-138/

[BTTFVGO]

Very interesting stuff... and as for the comment about a "Dilbert Uncut" book, I'm all for it. I've been saving every "uncensored" Dilbert comic since... *checks archive* ...well actually I just have a whole bunch from 1992 to the present, including some from 1997, 1999 and 2000.

I'm sure there's been MANY, MANY more that I don't know about, and I would absolutely LOVE to see a "Dilbert Uncut" - fully uncensored, featuring all of your comments and alternate versions (kind of like you've been doing in the blog!)

I enjoy seeing older alternate and uncensored versions. And I'm glad they are finally surfacing - it makes the mystique of Dilbert all the more exciting!

[Free William]

I can see a "Dilbert Uncut" book in the offing...

[vishalrix]

Scott, you still are entitled to a last laugh, cause in both the strips, she seems to be riding a huge 2-d phallus. What gave it away? the two small round balls at the left end.

If this interpretation looks like a work of a dirty mind, thats spot on - otherwise why would I be reading this blog?

[mgerics]

I had to laugh when reading this
Your humor cracks me up!
I laughed so hard I had to pis*
- Docs nose inside her butt!

So keep the humor flowing, please
For those of us who care
Who read your wit and are so teased
With butts formed by a chair

[Lymonhead]

Scott Man,
It must be hard being a Cartoonist in America.

Peace Bro

Lymonhead

[Ummm....]

Does your editing company know the last image is really the most provocative? That's the only one in which he looks actually able to get his cock in her. I wouldn't want to try the first one; you'd have to be on the table too and with her that close to the edge you'd probably fall on your ass. But standing on the ground, leaning forward... yeah, that's probably just about right.

Nuts, these are moderated. Well, edit this so it gets posted.

[Slippy]

So the solution for future strips should be obvious to all, yes?

Scott, it's simple. Make two copies of every strip...the first one with every character placement as suggestive and evocative as possible...the second copy is your "proper" strip. Submit the first one first, and they'll happily take the second without question.

Unless they read this. Damn.

[mitch]

oh my god that second pic was hilarious! way to stick it to the man. that looked a lot more medical than the first LMAO!

[Ridiculopathy]

It might be interesting to install a camera in your editor's office.

[Aaron]

That dog is wearing glasses.

[expobill]

I dont think thats offensive at all.
Not too many people read the comics nowadays
beause syndicates are not accepting new characters anymore
Isn't this hurting the industry?
I guess they'd rather reprint old ones to be safe.

[Dee]

So they were okay with her hairstyle looking like a big nipple on top of her head? Just curious! ;)

[Dee]

So they were okay with her hairstyle looking like a big nipple on top of her head? Just curious! ;)

[Roger Hannah]

A prime example of American syndicated comic having very little to do with humor is Dennis the Menace. The original Scottish strip had Dennis being a manace. He'd practically set mr. Wilson on fire to watch him die. He even looks like he's just been released from a juvenile detention facility. Dennis the Menace here isn't menacing. he's cute and adorable, and makes for an unappealing character.

It's no wonder they don't like chair butt. I wonder if you've ever been asked to make sure your characters aren't anatomically correct underneath the clothes they wear in your drawings.

[Farker number 4]

Wait... newspapers still have a "comics" section? I, like most people, stopped looking for that section around 12 years ago.

[kamachanda]

Version B should go on the t-shirt.

[tim]

And this is what's wrong with print comics today. Also, why I haven't read anything in print in years. I'm a much bigger fan of Overcompensating, or Penny Arcade than anything in print. Even Desiel Sweeties has a very hard time producing print comics that are up to the standard of the web-released versions.

[Daniel]

This reminds me of that time in 1988 when they wouldn't print the 'Family Circus' cause it contained a nip slip.

[Eric]

It's good to know that editors are there for a reason.

[bob]

That second version is a very accurate depiction of your editors.

[Rob]

Scott,

I'm reading some of these comments here and it seems to me your fans are mostly idiots. I wonder if they even understand the content in your stips or if they simply smile at the pictures and think to themselves "That dog is wearing glasses."

Anyway, keep up the good work, yours is the last of the great strips.

[KmartShopper]

Can the post by "me", second from the top, LEARN HOW TO SPELL.
LOSER...

it's Common Sense not Sence... Idiot.. here's the link for your edumacation..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_sense

[Alexandra]

Sounds like someone needs that doctor to find their head.... LOL

[Jo]

Certainly, the only way to diagnose "chair butt" is for the patient to get on all fours on the examining table while the doctor faces said rear head-on--when drawing for medical accuracy, of course.

He also repeatedly slapped her behind in order to determine if there was any loss of feeling. In a missing panel, she was shown rotating her hips so he could check her range of motion.

[Satanscock]

I kept clicking back and forth on the two positions to compare them
I have to watch some porn now....
thanks

[me]

Number 2 was terrible, i am very happy your editors are smarter, or have more common sence that is not so common, than you. I am scared!

[Listo Entertainment]

Do you mind if I print this strip and use it to confort myself in my lonely nights?

[Dr. JR]

As a true professional (GI MD) I am relieved that she is only suffering from the potentially reversible "chair butt" as opposed to the much more extreme "cadaver butt" - this may be a chicken - egg question, i.e. was it severe enough to be fatal, or is it simply by virtue of lying motionless for an extended period of time.

[Ed]

The strip they put in the Detroit News has her looking like a flat panel. I really don't understand what the hassle is. Look at Mary Worth, half the time the women are half dressed.

[Leora]

I had chair buttocks once. I had to set traps to catch them, then released them into the wild. Just don't ask me what I used for bait...

[Steve Downing]

I am sure I have at least as much editorial training as your editors have medical training. I think you know where I'm going.

[Andy]

You know, when I first saw the thumbnail of the second version, I thought it was couple (doctor and Alice) in passionate embrace, kissing. Then I clicked to see the full-size drawing...

[TrevOverT]

XX EE got it dead right Scott, with your submission of drawing two rejected the paranoid editor would automatically have accepted your first drawing.
Seems to me you need to play your editor(s) with more of your scathingly obscure wit.

[bigD]

i am really grateful that you have an editor...especially for the young impressionable people out there. on the other hand, i really enjoy getting to see this version. i am mature enought to handle it...i think.

if you are looking for a new editor, please let me know. i don't really have any qualifications but it would be a lot of fun.

btw..i saw you in Las Vegas a month ago where you gave the keynote address. i haven't laughed that hard in many years. Thank you!!!!!

[shaun]

nominations for the 3rd panel caption...

... It's barely noticeable with your radio face.

... I could prescribe a series of injections.

... The mannish pantsuit beats any prescription I could write you

[Dyakson]

It would be really nice if dilbert.com would display the high-res pictures you post in the blog - often I can't see the detail in the strip. Or is this impossible because of piracy?

[Diana W]

I'm curious what it takes to be a comic strip editor and how much it pays. I envision about 362 days a year just reading the strip, chuckling and going, "yeah, that's fine", and about 3 days a year of "Uh, oh. Scott's getting frisky again - got to rein him in." I want that job!

[Clair]

After reading all of the above I have discovered that a cartoonists life is more complicated than I suspected. Beware the cartoon police. Your blog is great.

[Gunnar]

Just take the first version... and leave the chair attached.

No provocation - unless someone's into hard spiky metal.

[nakliyat]

thank you very very nıce thank you very very much...

[Pete]

Oh man, that second one was totally hot. Looks like the Doctor has diabetes, and Alice's butt has the cure in it!

[John]

I am no expert but her doctor would have to be extemely tall to be able to mount her when she is on the desk like in the fiorst strip. In the final version she is clearly ready and just needs a willing partner of aproximately the same hieght.
Though I don't know her personally I don't think Alice is the kind to take it from behind. She seems to be more of the throw him down and make him pay type.

[Borg Warrior]

I'm reminded of the old Gary Shandling joke, which goes something like:

"Always remember one thing when you get a proctological exam: GO TO A PROFESSIONAL."

[Nach]

http://blog.guykawasaki.com/2007/04/ten_questions_w.html

Check out the comments on freewill - very interesting

[Kalle E]

No one actually reading Dilbert on a regular basis could ever have the oppinion that Alice could demonstrate a "too provocative pose".

And anyone actually telling Alice this would probably end up with a bad case of "fist of death".

Lucky for the sorry-looking doctor he did not bend over himself.

[Charles]

In the real world of the consulting room, she would have to be, well, "butt naked". And lying on her side. With her wearing a medical dressing gown (you know, the ones which close at the back instead), and a blanket or sheet covering the rest of her body to give her less of a sense of actually being naked (which is a lot of bull - ask me, I have been a patient too). And my pretty nurse would need to be in the same room too.

The butt however, would still need to be naked though.

United would not fall for that type of realistic cartoonism, would they?

Charles (Family Physician)

[CLD]

I suppose they could've been looking over X-rays that revealed her condition, but that would've been less funny and awesome.

[Andrew]

I do love the way Alice is gripping the examination table – she’s clearly experienced in such matters.

[Kev]

That's all very well, but why does the doctor have a pinball machine in his office?

[Paul C]

This is crazy....

...you may be interested to know, Scott (if perhaps dissappointed)that at the dodgier end of the Internet there are sites offering pirated art of just about every cartoon character you can think of, from film, comic, graphic novel and newspaper strip, engaged in hair-raisin, improbable and perhaps illegal(certainly in many US States) sexual congress.

Afficionados of these sites (and I know one, but to be fair he's Canadian)report that the ONLY popular cartoon where the characters convey no conceivable sexual buzz to even the most dedicated invert is Dilbert. (and this includes Peter Griffin and his loathesome son Chris from "Family Guy", who apparently are the Ron Jeremeys of this sort of Net porn)

So this is possibly another area where "Dilbert" bucks the trends - your art, by all acounts, has never been pirated or had its copyright infringed to turn it into pornography, because the characters you draw are so entirely sexually hideous.

Doesn't it give you a nice warm glow?

[Bob H]

I think that the first one was less "Take me roughly big boy" than the final version.

If Robin Williams can get away with a breast joke in "Bicentenial Man" then you should be allowed a bit more freedom. Lets stop sanitising the art, granted your editors could point out something you miss, but they shouldn't dictate.

[Ben]

"Scott,
How does the editorial control of your artwork fit in with your 'artist's right to control distribution' expectation?"

Sigh....Yes. Scott can choose who he sells his comics to. They can choose whether to print them.

[G]

Scott: "How does the editorial control of your artwork fit in with your 'artist's right to control distribution' expectation?"

Perhaps not an issue given that content and distribution of that content are two different things?

[DL From Heidelberg]

Just had my annual cancer check up. You don't want to know where the doctor had to put his hands.

[Nicole]

no wonder the examination panel looked so strange when I saw the comic for the first time :D

[Kevin Kunreuther]

How many people actually got off reading this blog entry today? I thought so ... I laughed my ass off, so I had to spend the rest of the day in the local E.R. have a first year resident attempt to screw it back on. We had to pack that thing in ice, put up with bad jokes (hey, it's smiling back at me, did it just wink?), then the resident, I don't know how, screwed it in backwards AND upside down! Eventually, the head nurse found a competent doctor who is going to specialize in proctology, anyhow, but made even worse jokes (Even now, no one wants to shake my hands! kissshh) but got the job done, asked me what was so funny that this happened in first place, nodded his head gravely when I answered, furrowed his brow, and looked away, saying, "Well, don't stop reading this Mr Adams blog, sir, we need all the practise we can get ..."

[Nomi]

I'm sure I'm not the first to ask. When will you publish a collection of dirty comics? Would you need to use a pseudonym? I imagine you banging out one dirty drawing for each clean (ish) one and that you have a pile of them burning to be seen. May I imagine you banging out a dirty drawing every day?

[Dyakson]

You're all worrying me now.

I thought the comic looked 'wrong' somehow, the awkward stance against the table...

And today is another day of The Dilbert Future weird coincidences. Scott Adams draws Alice semi-nude, and two relatively mainstream webcomics draw their female leads in a similar way.

[Greg]

Attack of the moral police or something there, no wait it was just the editors!. Society is becoming too politically correct when they thinking Alice is too sexually provocative. Strangely they have no problem when she punches someone

[Keith L. Dick]

Yep, the "First Frame" looks more like a "Sexual Position" as opposed to the revised version of it...

I think if you just had her standing straight up they would have liked it even better...

[Kilgore Trout]

It must be nice not being told what to do.

[Kevin Gibbs]

I wonder... had you submitted version B (head up crack)first, then Version A might have passed?

[Roni]

Is it a bad thing if United Media reject a comic? Does it annoy them that you're clearly out of touch with common decency? Or is it more like "oh ohh spaghettioes, Scott's done another one" and then everyone laughs and waits eagerly for your resubmission?

[Scott]

Scott,
How does the editorial control of your artwork fit in with your 'artist's right to control distribution' expectation?

[pervert]

You know what would be really great..? A porno version of Dilbert!

[quack]

How about a breast exam next time?

[JOe]

See how the USA is becoming a police state:

http://home.comcast.net/~plutarch/PoliceState.html

[D. Mented]

I'm fairly certain they're right about that second drawing that got censored being inacurate for a medical exam;
That's either "face time" if it's between boss and underling or "fact checking" if it's in politics.
D. Mented

[I'm Me]

I have to admit that seeing the final version without the previous versions still said 'come hither, I'm ready', but I'm not the sort of person who'll complain about such things, so my opinion doesn't count.
Pretend this post doesn't exist.

[Stevieo]

I think the first picture was funny in a way that only an adult could appreciate. Hell Disney has made a fine art of injecting adult inuendo in movies that appeal to both young and old alike. No wonder no one reads the comics anymore.

Tell these guys to buy a sense of humor and get outside once in a while. They probably are all suffering from corporate butt syndrom.

And BTW that Alices sexy loins have really got me all worked up. I love angry corporate women. She's so hot like that. Do you have any nude sketches?

[RR Simmons]

In the original, she takes on the "ride me" position, as if she has done it that way before. In the accepted version, she takes on that "scared-virgin" position, hanging onto the desk for what she expects will be a rough ride.

Mr. Adams! You sly devil, you!

[Clangnuts]

I love reading about the back story to your strips too.

[Hacker Kitty]

its comforting to know that even a cartoon character with chronic (and probably infectious) chair butt can still find hot, passionate love among dilbert bloggers... judging from comments...

not too sure what it says about the bloggers themselves though...

[Towhead]

I'm curious if you have the market power to refuse censorship, or at least make it uncomfortable.

What would the consequence be if you refused to modify the comic? Would it be possible to force them to not run a replacement comic at all if they disliked it? Or if they choose to run the censored version, they are required to print a URL to a censoreddilbert.com site where you can lambaste the stupidity of the whole situation.

Think of how fun it would be to then push the limit and give editors ulcers. On the other hand I suspect there would be a financial consequence to the whole thing... but thats not important to me.

[hockey monkey]

"but I intend to keep drawing comics until I find out."

I look forward to forever reading new Dilbert comics.

[Victor]

Hi Scott I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you might be interested to know that The Brantford Expositor ran a MUCH MORE toned down version, e-mail me if you want to see it and i'll scan it in.

[Amanda]

I really enjoyed the first version of your comic way more than the version that ran. I wish your comic company didn't sensor you.

[moflicky]

your second attempt delivered the biggest laugh I've had reading the comics in years.

maybe you missed your calling? ;D

[locomotivebreath1901]

I can just imagine all the new pick up lines....

[Mouse]

I used to work in a call centre for Telstra. We called it TB - Telstra Bum. They had special larger chairs for these people. The job was so boring that our only goal in life was to NOT end up using one of those chairs.

[Harry J. Chong]

l0l

[Billy B]

Yawn...

Screw United Media....

It is our duty to see who we can offend at times so that we can tell them they are up tight idiots.
Billy B

[Christian P]

I'm pretty sure that when that sort of exam is illustrated in a comic strip, the doctor uses a magnifying glass.

[Stephen Hamilton]

You sir, are a smartarse...I salute you!

[hiikeeba]

Thanks for the peek of the man behind the curtain. I can't get too angry at the editors. They're afraid their going to be sued. That's why there are all those "Professional Driver on a closed course" disclaimers on car ads. Some idiot watched Smokey and the Bandit, wrapped his Camaro around a tree and successfully sued GM.

[Ralph Woods]

Scott, we need legal Dilbert Porn.

[Ron Hardin]

Sociologist Mary Douglas (I thought ; maybe Joan Emerson, if google is to be believed instead) somewhere had an analysis of how gynecological exams are kept from being marked as sexual encounters. Apparently certain cues are important, and perhaps vital to comic strips too.

[Nachodos]

Gotta love the second one

[Brian Jones]

Alright! Dilbert porn!

[Ouch]

I think your next foray into this genre should be to depict a proctologist with an abnormally-formed finger.

[basselope]

Jeeesh!

With all of these "Alice is HOT!" comments I think there are going to be a lot of folks walking around with paper cuts tomorrow.

(Eeeeww!)

[Jan]

I love when you talk about your comic strips!

[Steve Fishboy]

"Here, in Brazil, we say "o tiro saiu pela culatra"

Applying this saying here is (perhaps unintentionally) hilarious. Literally, it means: "The shot went out the butt (of the gun)". More idiomatically: "It backfired".

I must say, it's disheartening that someone of your stature --a money-making machine for the businesspeople who run the show-- can be casually censored. I can only imagine what they can do to less-established authors.

[Relentless]

I'd still do her!
I kinda like it more subtle like that...there's more 'seduction involved'... More enticing to conceal than to reveal...

Of course, this whole strip only NOW gives me a bone once they've gone and made a big deal over it... before that, i would have only glimpsed at it and moved on to standard porn.

Just typical... we TURN THINGS PORNOGRAPHIC in our neurotic attempts to guard against the 'dangers' of sexuality... Oh, help us... which do we suffer more from? AIDS and all the other STDs or U.S. puritanism -- and its broad effects?

Thanks.

[skraps]

I like how you finally got another naked butt through the next day on the wall chart. It must have been OK because it was just a drawing instead of an actual real comic strip character.

[Dr. Chako]

As a physician who spends way too much time looking at butts, the first option was pretty darn close.

Thanks for the belly laugh!

[Anon]

Yeah, what CLB said about the strip with Dr. Dogbert and the elbow guy. That was 'censored' (humorously, I think) in the day calendar version.

[Gabriel]

I don't know if was just me. And I won't read all the comments. But in my opinion, the third one is even worse than the first one. Her butt is in the same line of his "instrument". On the desk, it's not that way. If I were the United Media, would prefer to publish the first one. Let the third one to a special "Dilbert Porn".

Here, in Brazil, we say "o tiro saiu pela culatra".
I don't know the expression in your language. If anyone knows portuguese, please, translate.

[Boris]

Well, yes, I think the original was pretty suggestive. I don't know that the fact that it was in a doctor's office makes much difference.

It was also funnier, and didn't offend me at all. On the other hand, I don't have any problem with newspapers censoring this kind of thing to avoid offending some of their readers. It's not hypocrisy, it's not being uptight about sex. It's simply a matter of opinion as to what is appropriate for a newspaper comics page. Not everybody is going to agree on something like this.

[Joe]

Wow, and the editors didn't object to the fact that Alice has a hair-do that looks like the top of a condom?

[Lise]

You could easily have had the doctor telling Alice she has chair butt (great diagnosis) while she was sitting down facing him, the implication being that the examination has already taken place. It would have been just as funny, and your women readers would not be suffering fist-of-death flashbacks about every time some male doctor has asked them to assume a humiliating position.

[niCk(mem beth)]

Do you have a butt fetish? Tell the truth?

[nina]

what's funny to me is that the first one is more medical looking, given the whole pap exam position

it's easier to imagine them having sex in the one that ran, giving them being on the same footing

[Aaron Rhodes]

Woot! Dilbert hentai!

[Rich]

A least the doctor's voice didn't echo... echo... echo...

[J]

Too funny but it also makes me wonder why some people feel the need to sensor such things.

A) The comic would only be suggestive to those that knew what the 'mount me' position is. So no kids were in danger of having their innocence lost.

B) Any adult that didn't like the imagery could just avoid Dilbert comics in the future as a way of protest (my guess is that, of the current audience, exactly 0% would be that offended by the image)

Someone in the comments said 'The world is full of preverted people' to which I would respond:

No it isn't but with the right education and training programs it could be. Send in your donations now! =)

[Ed]

I have heard it called "Swivel Chair Spread".

[BK]

Haven't you ever had a prostate exam Scott? I'd say its more a combination of the two comics. Imagine if the doctor said "drop your pants and crawl up on the table on all fours"

Please do another "Add the dialog for the the last frame" contest. Well, I guess its not a contest because we don't win anything, other than getting Scott Adams to say "not that's funny right there".

[Matthew Carlin]

What is it Wally said to Alice? "I promise I've never found you attractive"?

[T.G.]

I dont think doctors mind much if any at all. And to me, it would be more dificult to get used to the view of the "insides" of people or to some hornaments they put on than to just normal and natural nakedness, at least, i hope there arent many doctors judging people by any erotic stantard when working.

About your censored strips and your comments about them, when the book? (please)

[Will]

A real doctor use an expensive machine that goes beeeeep to diagnose chair butt.

Posted by: Some Moist Robot | April 26, 2007 at 08:55 AM

Yes, but that's only to impress the hospital administrators. And I believe the machine actually goes "ping" but I could be wrong.....

[Gabrielle]

You are SO bad! ;)

[Fern]

My own un-educated vision of the doctor's exam posture is your second image but with the doctor squatting and looking up with hand on chin.

Now excuse me while I poke out my minds eye ...

[John McNelly]

Too bad you didn't put a pencil behind the doctor's ear in the second version, don't editors keep pencils behind their ears?

[oh no, thank you]

An old boss of mine once claimed that if you cut off the third panel in a Dilbert cartoon, there is no loss of humor, and 33% more efficient use of wall space. He wasn't completely wrong.

[Biff]

"A real doctor use an expensive machine that goes beeeeep to diagnose chair butt."

No, actually they draw blood from your butt, and wait 10 weeks before they put it in an expensive machine that goes beeeeep. Then they call you to schedule another appointment to tell you the results of the beep, even though they could tell you on the phone.

[Flabaya]

I'm sorry you had to go with the printed version. It was aweful.... completely worthless like your editors....

Fubi

[Scot]

Scott...

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE keep sending us the inside information on the editorial decisions. I laugh until I'm peeing every time I read these, today being no exception.

You continue to make the day of cubicle dwellers and PHBs everywhere!

We live in a funny world.

Scot
The ORIGINAL Minister of Redundancy Minister

[McBane57]

I think the treatment for chairbutt should be some sort of weird ackward brace.

[PatBOB]

Heh-heh heheh heh hehheh, you said butt.

[ken]

I have the comic on my wall where Dilbert and a co-worker have the base of their chairs up their asses while they walk around...strange that that one got by!

[Ache-y Alice]

Dr. Adams,
I'm not sure what's wrong (if anything). I just want to drop my pants and have you examine my derriere. Closely. What do you recommend?

[Lora]

Chair buttocks sounds a lot like "Flat Butt Syndrom". I guess if you sit in a hard chair a lot you could get the same type of symptoms that one gets when sitting in a car for hours on end.

P.S. You might have drawn her with one of those open back gowns with her buttocks peeking out...

[Gleetnorx]

The closest I can come to this
is that
we once had a mattress
we named
"Skronk"

skronk skronk skronk skronk skronk

[Sean]

At home we recently got rid of our old desk chairs; they were nice to sit in, but were also in real danger of collapsing under the occupant. As we are moving soon we decided not to replace the chairs till after we move, and in the mean time we are using folding chairs. My butt hurts alot these days.

[Bulbboy]

At what size do you draw the comic strip Scott?
Possibly at the second picture size ("face in butt " pic) and then shrink it down?

bb

[isabelle dolce]

Oh God! I've been called into HR for looking at porn -- and it was just today's Dilbert blog! Now that I am in imminent peril of unemployment, at least I might overcome my own personal case of chair butt.

[Foo]

I can't believe you let a comment through with the phrase "meat curtains." Kudos.

[John C]

I love when you talk the journey that your comics make on the way to the newspaper!
That first version was great! And yes, Im thinking "mount me" at first, but since its a doctors office I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to get away with that in the newspaper. Who says you have to wait for the 3rd box to get a laugh.
My question to you is this:
What came first, you drawing alice in that position, or the chair ass disease?

[Foo]

Alice has kind-of a nice ass in the messing-with-your-editors version.

[John C]

I love when you talk the journey that your comics make on the way to the newspaper!
That first version was great! And yes, Im thinking "mount me" at first, but since its a doctors office I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to get away with that in the newspaper. Who says you have to wait for the 3rd box to get a laugh.
My question to you is this:
What came first, you drawing alice in that position, or the chair ass disease?

[EJ Smith]

Glad I set the coffee down before I read it!

Outstanding.

[Walter]

I believe that doctors get really used to look at "unnatractive naked people" day after day. That's why i never wanted to go Med School

[jerry w]

If there's an opening (sorry) for someone to do the style of inspecting shown in the second version for the woman who shows up sometimes on the right side of your page in white panties, please remember that I was the first one willing to go the distance.
Should there be others who offer at the same time, and if it helps the judges decide, I can breathe through my ears.

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[ughbert]

I hope you plan to publish your outtakes & doodles one day....I'd suggest you put them on the web site, but then you'd start getting the threads about lack of free will caused me to publish them w/o royalties, etc etc.

[Pari]

hey, alice is NOT unattractive okay? she is totally hot.

[Some Moist Robot]

A real doctor use an expensive machine that goes beeeeep to diagnose chair butt.

[Manuel Delgado]

Oh, now I know editors are pervs!

[cph]

Alice is hot.

[Laurence Boyce]

Seriously funny Scott. Always appreciate your work. Take care.

[Harley]

Oh man . . . thanks, I needed that.

[LA Clay]

By the way, I never knew Alice was sooo SEXY! New product, Alice blow up doll? Please?

[Mike]

See now I would have thought that a scene of the doctor squeezing her buttocks would have been accurate. Although I really liked the second offering. Made me wonder if they make a glove (nose glove?) for that. That position whilst humming the Battle Hymn Republic might be a good reason for a girl to be scene by a doctor whether she had chair butt or not.

[Stomper]

Maybe you should have drawn the doctor as female. Would that have made the drawing less provocative? Umm, probably not. Nevermind.

--Stomper

[Henry]

It's an interesting idea, but imagine some people drown in fantasies after seeing this strip, that wouldn't be too productive for the company.

[Sanjay]

Very Funny!.

It all depends on the eyes of the beholder..

The fact that you have a doctor in the first one will knock out the thought of "mount me" position(for me)!, but for some, it doesn't matter, even if you put the almighty jesus in there his thoughts would me "mount me" :).

As always enjoy reading your blog.

Sanjay.

[someloony]

I gotta say, the very first one is the funniest, just because it places the most emphasis on her butt, which is intrinsically funny.

[Robet B]

I think the final comic is best. There is no way a woman as sexy as Alice on her hands and knees could be seen as anything other than provocative.

[Sam Lowry]

Methinks the published strip is more anatomically correct, if one is to interpret it the "other" medical way.

[Erich Neubert]

I once dated a chick who had what she called the "Secretary Spread". Funny enough, I examined it like in the second image myself. She also had the biggest set of meat curtains you ever saw.

[joe]

As if it is painfully obvious she is in the Dr. office, the look on her face is a little less than 'provocative'. Good luck with the censors, though. Keep fighting the good fight.

[Jason]

Hilarious!

Syndicates be damned. Your first iteration was classic.

[Joshua]

Funny, in fact, the "peek" was funnier than the series of "chair butt" itself. Now, I'm just waiting for this post of yours to generate 100 comments about Intelligent Design vs. Creation vs. Evolution, etc. And I bet at least one person says "you had no free will but to draw it that way",

I'm taking odds.

[basselope]

heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheehehehahahahahahahahahahahahagigglegigglesnortsnort....

Now THAT was funny!

[AndyT13]

Further proof that our society couldn't be more broken if it tried. People are actually concerned that a cartoon character might be present in a position which, even though fully clothed, might *GASP* suggest something sexual.
On a different note you must really enjoy your job at times like this. That second (supposed) submission, while clearly even further out of the ridiculous bounds they arbitrarily set, lets you make fun of your nominal bosses in a spectacular fashion, whilst maintaining plausible deniability. To wit (in an innocent tone) "What? I dunno, what SHOULD a chair butt exam look like?" Just try to mkeep a straight face, hmm? Rock on.

[Marxist]

LOL! Very funny and free publicity!

[CJ]

Scott,

I'm so glad that the media has finally given this rarely reported medical condition the attention it deserves. Far too many patients have suffered in silence with this disease, believing themselves to be the only ones afflicted with chair butt (aka gluteus chairicus). The general public needs to be educated about this serious, but preventable, epidemic. God bless you Scott.

Sincerely,

Dr. Harold Butts, proctologist

[David]

i have to admint on its own the first one does look a bit like a mount me positon maybe you should go to your doctor n asked to be examined for chair butt n take notes on how he goes about it

[Jedi Kevin]

The second picture is the "give me a promotion" position.

[Mark Thorson]

Yes, when I saw yesterday's
strip I was sure you were
having an orgy of professional
satisfaction, achieving your
personal goal of working
butts into the strip as often
and resplendent as possible.

Sort of like how the editors
of the New York Times used to
work bus plunge stories into
the paper.

http://www.slate.com/id/2152895/nav/tap1/

[Chris Crowther]

So you went with the image that looks like she's bracing herself instead? :)

I'm not sure it's possible to draw that in a manner that couldn't be construed as sexually provocative by someone.

The world is full of filthy minded people.

Not that I find this to be a problem.

[Brian]

How is the submitted comic less sexual then... well... the first? (I'll ignore commenting on the second attempt)

That doctor would have to put some effort into doing anything in the first position... where as the 'accepted' position just required walking forward.

Nevertheless, being one that suffers "Chair Butt Syndrome", I loved the series of comics this week.

[dehed52]

Personally, I like your second try. But I can see where some more inhibited types might find it objectionable. However, I sure wouldn't want to see Dilbert, Wally or Pointy-Haired Manager gettting the same exam!

[Alan]

Thanks Scott, I needed a good laugh this morning. I like how you made sure that the second cartoon could not be actually recognized as Alice, could you imagine how many printings/postings that cartoon would of had (probably within minutes)if it was a full picture. Even as it is it will be fun to see what happens; "Hey Joe did you see the porn that Scott Adams drew?" I'm sure there will be some uptight people that will be appalled.

Alan

[april]

HAHAHAHAHA hilarious!!

[Dave1-20-2009]

Around here there seems to be an epidemic. Is there a cure yet?

[Ahruman]

I am reminded of James Herriot’s story of medical school, where he was required to examine a woman’s breasts for, I presume, cancer.

He did it wrong.

[mjc jr]

The editors were right. The very first thing that popped into my head when I saw the first frame was "Oooh! She's presenting!" Then porn muzak.

[RPK]

I'm not sure how you learned anything about what it takes to be a doctor, but you should have learned that being an editor means you have way too much time on your hands.

[Wyld One]

Too funny. It's a good thing I'm not a newspaper editor because I would have ran the second version.

Side note: If you're going to require email addresses for posts could you please hide them behind a mail form? I really don't want to go back to 400+ spam messages a day because my address was harvested by a crawler.

[CLB]

Was it just the positioning that was a problem? I remember a strip where a guy was having his “elbow” checked by the doctor. Was there any discussion of Alice having to have clothes on? Are there different rules when it comes to drawing women in these situations?

Thanks for the peak behind the scenes (pun intended). :)

[Nate Farley]

In the second picture, it looks like the Doc would have ended up with a bad case of "Brown Nose".

[LA Clay]

Doctors also need a white coat. I think that's it.

[Jorge]

Wow. Dilbert porn without a copyright violation. If I had free will I might think it's a sign of the apocalypse. Since I don't I'm just kind of turned on and a little sickened.

Did I touch all the bases?

Simply excellent.

[XX EE]

Ya know ...? I had a sneaking suspicion that your depiction of Alice -- standing up, still fully clothed in business attire, and only slightly bent over but still reasonably dignified -- might have been influenced by the syndicate.

That said, I am still highly displeased with you, O Scott Adams. PLEASE put a "Warning: do NOT drink coffee while reading my blog" PSA on posts like today's. Your thumbnail drawing was so funny that I nearly blew a gasket trying *not* to laugh in order to keep my co-workers from running in to investigate, in which case all I'd have been able to do would have been to point (at the screen) and laugh. You are Evil ... keep it up! :)

[just_human]

You need to stick with your guns. Alice is awesome in the first one. What you should have done is submit the middle one first, and they won't even notice the 'mount me' pose when you resubmit it.

[Evan]

The comic that ran here has the drawing of her butt in the background. Was that another version?

[Stuart]

the second pose looks more sexually inviting to me. Then i am english so, who knows if what i think is reliable

[Kyle]

Lol, that's really funny! But I think the second one is just as sexy?

[thieves44]

LOL - In the final version Alice is even more prepared for a quick medical tapping because she is on the same level as the Dr. Just a quick skirt lift and they are away. Nice Job Scott. I think your Eds are not getting enough at home...

[Beaker]

I wish you had gone with your instincts on this one. The first version was funny as heck, and kinda makes the avereage guy feel like he's getting even for prostate exams.

Hey, there's an idea! Have Wally go for a prostate exam. He could have been exposed to radiation at work or something. See what the editors make of that.

[jerry w]

Like rainman laughing at the previous joke, here's one that didn't get posted in time:

1st guy in bar: You know, all of those Gliese 581 Csian women are either whores or hockey players.

2nd (and much bigger) guy in bar stands up: Hey, my mother is a Gliese 581 Csian!

1st guy in bar: Oh, what team does she play for?

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[The J-Mo]

Scott...

HILARIOUS as always! Thanks for all the laughs!

[freebert]

Scott - Its great that we get a 'behind' the scenes look at the making of Dilbert. It was very funny and enlightening. The 2nd one was definitely the funniest way to go, it’s a shame that you couldn’t run it.
I was amazed that the next days comic depicting the round ass vs. the square ass flew.

[Cliff]

Seeing your second attempt made me think that you must have drawn some "not for publication" cartoons before. Is this true? Have you drawn Dilbert et al in uncompromising positions? I'm sure your blog readers would love to see some of them if you have.
If you haven't then why not?

[pete]

bless this blog!

[Brett]

What is "common" sense? Its often said that many of my co-workers lack "common" sense? But that definition seems to keep changing....based on one's own background and what is taken for granted as generally knowledge everyone should know....so I as...what is it I should know, simply because everyone else does?

[Dilbert's Rabbi]

Interesting concept. Maybe next you could use your experience at drawing comics to explore what it takes to master professions other than just medical. You've already delved into the consciencelessness required for management professionals and legal professionals (and some of your blog entries show you've integrated this lack of conscience into your personal and professional life).

Now maybe it's time to unlock the mysteries that make a good rocket scientist; or a chiropractor; maybe a veterinarian; or a "professional" truck driver. The possibilities seem endless!

I'll bet your kicking yourself for wasting all those years in college when all the training you needed could be found in drawing silly cartoons! Lead on, Dr. Adams!! ;)

[pete]

bless this blog!

[Real Live Girl]

The tragedy that is chair butt has gone unnoticed for far too long. You are a true medical pioneer - please keep drawing comics until you discover a cure for it.

[G]

It didn't occur to me the first time I saw it, but now that I've seen the previous versions, the "acceptable" version still looks suggestive to me, like she's about to climb up into the "mount me" position, or is prepared to be done right there...perhaps I need help.

[Kevin Kunreuther]

HAR, HAR, Now that's an anal probe!

Adams 01 McEldowney 00

http://officialpibgorn.livejournal.com/978.html

[Jessica]

Your editors really don't like butts!

[UWWJedi]

Firsties! Man, I hope I don't get chair butt.

[rob kay]

The only rational conclusion to your research is that you eventually become a doctor, and possibly the only one in medical history that received his entire training through drawing comics and submitting them to other non-doctors. Given that my current doctor spends all our exams trying to find reasons to prescribe me drugs, stick her finger up my butt, or take blood like a hypochondriac vampire, you may be on to something. The only question that really matters here, is will you accept united health care?

[Matt]

I still think the drawing says "mount me". But for the life of me, I can't think of any other way that would look less bow-chicka-bow bow. The subject matter just doesn't lend itself to purity in any way.

[random]

How often does your syndicating company accuse you of screwing with them just for the heck of it? How often are they right?